Dear ED209,
I’m afraid my current medical condition is far worse than any of the over-hyped pandemics labeled by the global media in this decade. We as a nation have fallen victim again and again to some of the most tragic and terrifying health risks in generations. From killer bees, to SARS, to H1N1, we have all found ourselves cornered at one time or another like terrified kittens in a flood. But let me tell you all: none of these atrocities compare even slightly to the horrible disease that festers inside of my throat today. The Rat Flu is real, it is highly contagious and will tear you away from your loved ones in a flash. But now there is a movement to end Rat Flu forever. Please send $25 or whatever you can afford to [redacted]. Please send cash only. Together we can win this fight for all of us! God Bless America.
Warm Regards,
Source: ed209
